A drunk walks in front of a bar with a key in his hand and he is stumbling back and forth.

A cop on the beat sees him and approaches, "Can I help you sir?"

"Yessh Officer, Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr!" the man replies.

The cop asks, "Where was your car the last time you saw it?"

"It wasss on the end of thisshh key." the man replies.

About that time the cop looks down and sees the man's Johnson hanging out of his fly.

He asks the man, "Sir, are you aware that you are exposing yourself?"

Momentarily confused, the drunk looks down at his crotch and blurts out, "Holy shit! ... My girlfrienss's gone, too!"